Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Teaser Tuesday

From my current WIP.

In which the MC, Keilee , has just 'met' her first fairy. Let's just say she's a little freaked out. There has been a wreck and her best friend, Cameron and her mom's annoying friend, Wills, have gone to see if they can help.

Comment please!

The growl vanished and Keilee looked up when she heard a police siren, two small beeps that whooped loud over the noise of the rain. She saw Wills leading Cameron back, letting the paramedics work on the injured driver. Then, from the shadow of a wide oak tree, Keilee saw a form, a mass so haggard, that her stomach turned. It crouched behind Wills and Cameron as they watched the police ushering cars around the wreckage. Keilee sat up, resting her elbows against the dash to get a clearer look at the creature, her hands coming up to cover her mouth when a policeman’s flashlight shifted across its body.

Despite the crouch, it was clearly tall, the legs as dark as a tree trunk, as thin as a light pole. It had wide, looming shoulders, odd and disproportional to the frail legs. A thick wool cape with a fur-lined collar draped over the shoulders, the hem wet against the rain-soaked sidewalk. It seemed unable to stay stationary, moving its thick body from side to side as it watched Wills, narrowing its white, bugged eyes at his head.

“Hey,” Keilee shouted, slapping her hands against the windshield. “Look behind you.” She balled her fist and banged the glass hoping Wills would see her. The creature was joined by another, the pair of them intent on Wills, shifting their bodies into a pounce. When one of the creatures extended a claw— no fingers, no hands, just razor sharp claws that were twisted and long— Keilee darted over the seat and slammed her hand against the car horn.

Cameron jumped and Wills’ head jerked up toward her. They both ran across the street, Cameron unlocking the door and sliding in, flinging water out of her hair and off her arms. Wills trailed behind her, then stopped at the back of the car and Keilee watched him fumble with the handle, his eyes focused on the creatures now retracting, shuffling back and out of sight.


RuthEDay said...

Oooo... I love the description of the monster. It's very vivid but doesn't give too much away so he's still mysterious. Also, the descriptors that you use add to the tension and serve the story well. Great job!

TS Tate said...

Thanks, hon. Glad you liked it and thanks for the rt!

Douglas MacIlroy said...


I like that they saw the monsters when she alerted them with the horn. I was wondering if the apparitions were a figment of her imagination.

Spooky stuff.



TS Tate said...

Thanks, Douglas. Glad you liked it.

Jaleta Clegg said...

Fun description. Now I'm curious about the rest of the story. That's the point of teasers, though, isn't it?

TS Tate said...

Thanks! So glad you enjoyed it. Yes, this is my <3 WIP which I'm very excited about! More soon.