Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Teaser Tuesday

More of what y'all read last week.





It was the smoke that gave him away. It billowed above his head, snaking up into the humidity of Sunday summer in The Quarter and made Mercy certain he’d been infected. She stood with her shoulder resting on the corner of the building, watching, near a dumpster that smelled of burnt fudge and week old crawfish.

The man was leaning against his arm, stretched out on the white brick of the building, his head was down, body tilted and sluggish. The back of his shirt stuck to his shoulders by a film of sweat and his short black hair looked like slick oil. He kept looking over his shoulder, scanning any passersby that came near him.

The smoke grew thicker, the color shifting between gray and white, as it shot out and floated above him like a crown. Mercy knew what would be next. First the smoke jutting out through flared nostrils, the nose elongating into a snout and then the sharp scales that grew on the face and spread to the neck, then the chest until it covered the body-- until the leaking spores of poison settled into the skin. It was their deadliest weapon, that poison, how they recruited, how they killed.


10 comments:

Bethany W. said...

This is fascinating! I love the mental image of the smoke and the transformation. It's very creepy and gritty.

adrienne said...

Love. This is so cool I can't even stand it.

TS Tate said...

Aww YAY! Like every single writer except maybe, Hemingway, I think everything I write is pretty much rubbish.

Thank you for validating me. You like me, you really like me!!!

Madison Woods said...

Spellbinding! Loved it, great imagery, and I didn't see any problems to crit :)

TS Tate said...

Wow, Madison, thanks!

Phoebe said...

Oh man, awesome. Really nice tease--I didn't expect that transformation, which made it very effective.

Douglas MacIlroy said...

TS,

Nice work. Now I have to watch out for (what do you call these shifters?) when I go the the Quarter.

Waiting for more.

Aloha,

Doug

TS Tate said...

Thanks, Phoebe and Douglas and yes, you really have to watch out for the big bad in the Quarter!

Thanks for the comments!

j. said...

A very "thick" description. Like drinking whole milk and spilling much of it down your chin. I like the calories in it.

TS Tate said...

Thanks, J.